Archives for posts with tag: boundaries

line

Filling the space between and within
Deep-seated feelings of unlove
Projected out into the world
As her plea for validation
 
She gives endlessly
To everyone but herself
Hoping to be loved
And to find her belonging
 
A brick wall protects her heart
From feeling broken and sad
Building resentment and frustration
Which makes everything mad
 
Sensitivity goes hand in hand
With heightened defensiveness
Creating mile high barriers
With little understanding
 
Words become misconstrued arrows
Of slight, hurt and slander
Actions become misunderstood slings
Of attack, aggression and anger
 
There is no in-between
Always just black-and-white
The difference between good and bad
Will always justify the fight
 
The emotional rifts widen
To expose her soft-belly core
But soon thereafter comes a rumbling
Whose tsunami flows can’t be bore
 
Her heart is pure and golden
Carrying the best of intentions
It’s the weight of inconsequence
That always makes her strive for recompense
 
I open my heart, working to be soft and kind
But can no longer bear her pain
I shed her fears and insecurities
It’s my own progress that I must gain
 
Thank you deeply for your love
The time has come for me to say goodbye
To the relationship that once seemed to serve
There is a new dawn, a new age with no more lies
 
REDFINE THE LINE.
 
With Love,
theDesignLife
 
need
(v) require (something) because it is essential or very important.
(n) a thing that is wanted or required.
 
I have allowed the winds of change to drift me to and fro without any clear direction or defined boundaries. Most people would have gotten motion sick, demanded that life stop right then and there, and climbed into the driver’s seat to take back control of their lives. Instead, I believed that the roller coaster ride was just part of the adventure, to be expected and accepted. No wonder I kept finding myself in similar situations over and over again. I lived in a state of perpetual inertia, always on the brink of movement but never being able to break forward. I kinda knew what I wanted and had no clue what I needed. While most people operate in black and white, I see nothing but 50 shades of grey. Life blurred. Intentions blurred. Understanding blurred. It was as though my North Star was hiding behind a huge cloud.
 
Luckily, even when life felt a little or a lot out of control, I remained secure in the facts that I always had safety nets and believed wholeheartedly that life was spiraling upwards. Scenes, voices, situations looked familiar, but they were not exactly the same. I also knew that this was the story of my life and that my lessons would be hard.  If I wanted life to be softer, I had to change my story.  
 
Throughout this incredibly demanding and rewarding journey, I am so much more receptive to my lessons and am trying to learn them as effectively as I can. The inner consultant begs me to be efficient, even when it comes to life lessons.  When I quit my job last June, I knew that I would face one of my biggest, looming, way beyond overdue tasks – define my needs, wants and desires. In order to break the inertia and move forward in the direction of my North Star, the Universe was demanding that I align my heart, mind and soul. Come August, I turned inward in a different way. I wasn’t focused on uncovering my hidden wounds, I was instead interested in listening to my heart.
 
Day by day, week by week, month by month, I investigated every detail about my life and still am investigating them. I examine what provides sustenance, nurturance, nourishment. What feels good vs ok vs bad? What are my power attachments? Where do I draw my energy from? What are my explicit life goals in the immediate, short, mid and long-term?  As a result, I have created my own Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. In the meantime, I am learning to trust my gut responses as an indication of how I really feel. Granted, my head starts to want to do its job and analyze, but it has been more important for me to rely on my intuition than anything else. Within me, through my intuition, I trust that I will be guided to where I need to be, who I need to be with and what I need to do to take my next step toward my North Star.
 
Up until recently, I believed that needs were static and could never include such things as wants and desires.  I associated needs with survival, which I pictured using a stone-age framework – a cave dwelling, foraged food. No fluff.  No frill.  No fancy.  My biggest breakthrough came when I disconnected this association and revised my framework.  Needs still meant securing the basics, like food, shelter, health, etc., but how I qualified them were up to me.  All of the sudden, I realized a big power shift so that I now held control over how I defined my life.  Therefore, I have started defining and qualifying my needs in a way that suits me that makes me feel safe, secure and yummy.  
 
In a lot of ways, I feel as though I am building a house that will eventually become my home.  Right now, I am building the foundation by fulfilling my base needs.  Once they are realized, I will revise them and start working on the infrastructure.  Eventually, I will have arrived home to my North Star.
 
DISCOVER YOUR NEEDS.
 
With Love,
theDesignLife
 

Day 12 – Thanksgiving Thankfulness – Kindred Spirits: The best part about my self-discovery journey is understanding what I made up of – my desires, triggers, boundaries, annoyances, pains – and then honoring them in such a way that helps me grow. I gain further clarity. I accept without judgment. I heal. While the uncontrollable remains out of reach, it is my decisions that start to become clearer because they are more aligned with who I am. There’s less back and forth, push and pull… stirring up less dust and confusion, guilt and resentment, upset and dissatisfaction. I feel more at peace. As I come closer to my truest self, I attract those kindred spirits who I get to ride the same wavelength with – this is my favorite part about the self-discovery journey. To quote Susan Cain, author of “Quiet,” during her interview on MarieTV: “I go through the world looking for kindred spirits, and there is always at least one – the person you really connect with. You really want to be with them. You want to get to know them better. You want to stay in touch.” When I meet a kindred spirit, I find that our individual energies converge into one big, better energy that is captivating, inspiring, glowing. All of the sudden, two becomes better than one. There’s less hesitation to speak my truth because we make it safe for one another to express our individuality and to play with the boundaries. In the words of Ann-with-an-e from “Anne of Green Gables” by L.M. Montgomery: “Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It’s splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world.” Kindred spirits always make home feel not that far away! Thank you. Xx