Archives for posts with tag: emotions
Sucking from her nipple,
the milk of repressed emotions
Distended belly bloated with anger
Umbilical cord severed
Choking on words
Not even my own
Voice of a different generation
Breathing fire cauldron
Sticky tar boils over
Attached to the pain
Nourished only
By the memory of a dream
Bitten by love’s venom
Life as the only antidote


Filling the space between and within
Deep-seated feelings of unlove
Projected out into the world
As her plea for validation
She gives endlessly
To everyone but herself
Hoping to be loved
And to find her belonging
A brick wall protects her heart
From feeling broken and sad
Building resentment and frustration
Which makes everything mad
Sensitivity goes hand in hand
With heightened defensiveness
Creating mile high barriers
With little understanding
Words become misconstrued arrows
Of slight, hurt and slander
Actions become misunderstood slings
Of attack, aggression and anger
There is no in-between
Always just black-and-white
The difference between good and bad
Will always justify the fight
The emotional rifts widen
To expose her soft-belly core
But soon thereafter comes a rumbling
Whose tsunami flows can’t be bore
Her heart is pure and golden
Carrying the best of intentions
It’s the weight of inconsequence
That always makes her strive for recompense
I open my heart, working to be soft and kind
But can no longer bear her pain
I shed her fears and insecurities
It’s my own progress that I must gain
Thank you deeply for your love
The time has come for me to say goodbye
To the relationship that once seemed to serve
There is a new dawn, a new age with no more lies
With Love,

Day 13 – Thanksgiving Thankfulness – Permission: I have come to realize that in order to live the life I want, I need to give myself permission to do so. It’s the permission to say, ‘No,’ and not feel guilty about it that releases me from resentment. It’s the permission to say, ‘Yes,’ and not feel greedy about it that releases me from shame. It’s the permission to acknowledge my feelings and honor the pain that allows me to heal. It’s the permission to provide an answer without an explanation that gives me peace. It’s the permission to live the life I desire with full acceptance that brings me harmony. Thank you. Xx

Day 10 – Thanksgiving Thankfulness – Letting Go: Two years ago, I was browsing in the ABC Home & Carpet store in Union Square, NYC. I came across an ID bracelet that had ‘Love’ engraved on the top side and ‘Let Go’ on the other. Immediately, I knew we were meant to be. It has been incredibly hard, to the point of depression at times, to let go of someone or something that held special meaning in my life. Maybe I knew we weren’t soul mates or understood that we weren’t best friends, but when you walked away, or when our time came to an abrupt end, my body collapsed – and my mind felt like the world was ending. I don’t know why. Over the years, I have had to tame this response a lot so that I could continue functioning, living… And loving. Before, I just felt like I was being abandoned – perhaps triggered from adoption… Perhaps. In response, I wanted to grab on even more tightly for the sake of feeling that false sense of security. Now, I understand a lot better that I held on out of fear – fear of scarcity of love. There is never a scarcity of love. And in order to allow the love to flow freely, I must let go. Love knows no grip, no hold, no fear. It flows endlessly and effortlessly. When people leave, it still hurts. However, I feel a lot more secure in the love that remains. Thank you. Xx

Day 9 – Thanksgiving Thankfulness – Voice: Voice is one of the most powerful tools we have to communicate our thoughts and feelings, individually and collectively, internally and externally. Voice transcends vocal chords and written word – it is the unmistakable spirit that inspires and empowers us to take stands against injustice, spread new ideas, forge deeper bonds, pass on generational traditions and create a community of oneness. All it takes is an act of kindness, a nonviolent protest, a reassuring hug – no doubt your message, your intention, your voice, will be clear as can be. Amazingly, through technology, your and my voice have gained spread and meaning. Our voices can be shared amongst an entire global community to help provide support, information and understanding. To quote Sheryl Sandberg in her HBS Class of 2012 speech: “… Now ordinary people have voice… Anyone with access to Facebook, to Twitter or a mobile phone. This is disrupting traditional power structures and leveling traditional hierarchy. Voice and power are shifting from institutions to individuals.” At first, I was set on finding my perfect pitch. Now, I realize that my voice will continue to morph over time as my belief system, authentic Self and circumstances change. Thank you. Xx

Day 7 – Thanksgiving Thankfulness – Grey Area: All too often, in order to make sense of life, we pare down the world into black or white – artistic or athletic, smart or dumb, generous or stingy, good or bad, with or without. This mutual exclusivity makes it easier for judgments and decisions. However, we leave out the best parts – all those shades of grey that create shadow, light, depth and perspective. Living in black and white denies full expression of the human condition – our core needs, deepest desires, innermost emotions, intense power and probing intellect – and prevents us from living in 3D. To quote Jon Ronson, a British journalist and filmmaker: ‘… the grey areas are where you find the complexity, humanity and where you find the truth.’ The space in between, the grey area, is where we will find our connectedness and universality – where we realize that you and I are the same. Thank you. Xx

Day 4 – Thanksgiving Thankfulness – Empathy: Most days contain elements of joy, satisfaction and even a bit of flow where missteps and mistakes are fewer and further between. Some days, emotions run high, fears escalate, insecurities trigger and miscommunications and misunderstandings happen one after another. On these days, I feel vulnerable and under attack. And the situation always involves… someone else. However, if I can find my breath and dig a bit deeper, I can tap into my inner source of empathy to administer a dose of compassion. This compassion goes a long way in helping to not take things personally, to understand a different perspective and to create healing. I must remind myself that my biggest antagonists will prove to be my greatest teachers. May I learn my lessons the least hardest way… Xx