Archives for posts with tag: purpose
Ever since time began
I knew I wanted a life of more
The kind that was filled with purpose
Doing work that resonated with my core
I’ve spent years searching high and low
Working here and there, moving to and fro
All the while building strength and experience
Leading me to the place I must go
Finally, I reached my sacred space
While I didn’t know where I would land
I made the jump, a leap of faith
Being guided by an invisible hand
I couldn’t be more ecstatic
To be so close to what I desire
I am ready to embrace all that comes
And am driven by my fire
Yet, all this is happening right now
I just turned 35 years old
I am wondering how I can have it all
And the truth seems just too cold
My life work is now just starting
So I must stay focused on my career
And I long to get married and have a family
Thinking of how to do all of this brings me a tear
I cannot give up any of them
For they all mean so much to me
They make my heart beat faster
It is my soul that they feed
I decide that I must find my calling
To submerge myself in my life purpose
Becoming one with the highest values
And into the Divine I put all of my trust
When I live my life aligned with my purpose
It is here that I will attract all that I need
To give birth to all of my desires
And from any chains I will be freed 
With Love,
They start as inclinations
A tendency, a preference
Over time, they become patterns
If we are busy, we fail to recognize them
But if we remain still, even if for just a moment
Hand over the mic, and they will tell you
They are the whispers and nudges
We mostly think of as nuisances
Or even coincidences or accidents
And then, we hear their voices
The authenticity that underlies
All that is tepid, trembling or timid
Giving way to the strong and steady
The voice we have carried within
All along those tendencies meant something
They all add up, and we wake up
Realizing that they were co-incidences
Not just accidents or happenstance
Yet we somehow want to shut it up
Our own voices. We strip it of its credibility.
Shutting up. Shutting down. Ignoring it.
When you don’t honor your inner stirrings
What some may name a calling – your calling
To say or do something in that moment
You neglect not only yourself
Because a calling is more than your own creation
It exists through the consciousness
A family’s blessing, a community’s wish
A state’s need or God’s offering
Is all wrapped within each of our callings
To honor it is to say YES
And to live our life beyond imagination
The greatness we live is the greatness we give
So watch what draws you, repels you, feeds you
Every glance, every hunch hold significance
Pay attention to the message that it gives
They call to your soul on every level
They are the lessons to learn and the ways to grow
Let them lead you to your home
With Love,
(n) the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.
(v) have as one’s intention or objective.
I can remember as far back as my early college working days in the Boy’s Department at Nordstrom doodling on notepads.  What did I want to be when I grew up?  I would create a radial system of spokes seemingly shooting me off to my destiny.  One arrow pointed toward children.  I loved them, and I was good with them.  I spent my entire adolescence babysitting, leaving a 12-hour workday with one family only to move on to a 6-hour work night with another family.  Kids were my lifeline.  I relished in their joy, spontaneity and humor.  I could even withstand the tantrums and meltdowns.  Another arrow directed me to medicine.  I always loved biology and could marry it with my love for children by becoming a pediatrician.  But I loved the arts and culture, too.  Scientific discovery was not my idea of a canvas.  I wanted a channel for emotional, artistic expression, whether it be mine or someone else’s.  More arrows led to other interests in the areas of design, entrepreneurship, strategy & innovation.  Soon enough, what was supposed to be my yellow brick road became an explosion of ideas with little to no cohesion.  For years, I drew the same picture with the same image, resulting in more and more confusion about the direction in which I wanted to take my life. 
By late-2004, I knew I had to change my career path.  Yet, it wasn’t until 2006 that I decided to pursue my original intention to become a doctor.  I applied and was accepted into a post-baccalaureate pre-medical program.  Life would be set for me until kingdom come: post-bacc for 2 years, medical school for 4 years, residency for 4 years, and if I wanted a specialization, which I did, then X more years.  I would start at 27 years old and not re-emerge until at least 40.  I no longer had to waffle over what I should do with my life.  I felt a huge sense of relief to be rid of the aching desire to find purposeful work, to live a purposeful life and to do something I loved.  Yet, something within told me that this was not the right choice.  Instead of feeling liberated, I actually felt suffocated.  In lieu of joy was dread.  These were not feelings I thought I should be having when I was about to embark on my life purpose journey.  Being a strong believer in gut responses, I took heed and dropped out of the program on the day I was supposed to start and moved to Los Angeles.  It just so happened that I was more excited to move to Los Angeles without a job or any idea of where my life would take me than to start my journey to become a doctor.  From there, life weaves in and out of various jobs and paths in an attempt to take control of my destiny.  Even as recently as last June, my desire resurfaced, and I was beckoned to try again. 
While my interests are still many and varied, I have been better able to narrow down my focus, which has given me a sense of direction that I had lacked years prior.  Most importantly, during this leg of my journey, I have confronted some very important mindset shifts, which has allowed me to become a lot more realistic about what purpose means and how to find it. Below are some of my lessons learned:
Purpose Comes in Many Guises
For many years, I clung onto the belief that purpose was tied solely to career.  I felt that having the right career in an area that I loved was what living purposefully meant.  Now, I realize that purpose permeates across all aspects of life.  Purpose is what drives decisions and choices made everyday with regards to family, friends, home, health, etc.  I can have the purpose to be a good daughter, as well as the purpose to have a career I love.  All of them constitute purpose.
Purpose Is Another Word for Intention
This leads me to my next realization that to have purpose means to have intention.  When we think, say or do something for a specific reason, then it is purposeful.  A way to make life filled with wonderful purpose is to align thoughts, words and actions with our value system so that they are meaningful and authentic.  I cook healthy and hearty meals to serve my family.  When I do this, I feel imbued with a sense of purpose because it is my way to show my love for them.
Money Can Be Part of The Purpose
A major breakthrough for me has been my relationship with money.  I always felt money and purpose had an either/or relationship.  However, after staring at my budget day after day, I concluded that money is a key factor in my happiness, well-being and health.  Money is a freedom tool for me to continue my health journey, explore more adventures and give to my family and friends in ways that I would like to.  For me, money is part of my purpose.  I have shifted my expectations and criteria so that I can accommodate my needs and wants much more comfortably without feeling greedy or guilty!   Anything that serves you should be part of your purpose because that will help build the foundation needed to create more and more fulfillment.
Security Increases Purpose’s Bandwidth
I realize that when my life feel scarce, a lot of my energy is dedicated to worry and stress in order to take care of basic necessities.  However, when life is abundant and my needs and wants are taken care of, I no longer have that energy drain.  Instead, I can channel my energy into more productive and creative outlets that allow me to deepen relationships, generate new ideas and create more abundance.  Fear of loss is replaced by a gratitude for all the opportunities that are now visible without the cloud of worry.
Follow Your Joy to Find Your Purpose
At the very base of our purpose is to feel joy.  I have no doubt in my mind that our lives are meant to be filled with peace of mind and joy of heart.  When we fill our hearts with joy, we are living our lives as they are intended.  So, when in doubt, listen to what your heart is telling you and follow the path that is filled with love and light. 
With Love, 
(v) watch over in order to protect or control.
(n) a person who keeps watch, esp. a soldier or other person formally assigned to protect a person or to control access to a place. a device worn or fitted to prevent injury or damage.
We learn at an early, impressionable age why and when we are worthy and lovable: I love you when you are good; I love you because you listen to me.  In traditional archetype fashion, mothers are the nurturing, caring souls who shower us with unconditional love.  All we have to do is be ourselves in order to gain their affection.  Their love is all encompassing and always forgiving.  We walk forth into our lives with a love that serves to promise us that we always have love and that we are worthy of it.  In contrast, fathers are the judging, demanding souls who provide us with conditional love.  Their love is based on achievement and accomplishments.  We must do and have in order to win their approval.  In this love, we become equipped to handle the rest of the world we encounter as adults.  
Yet, life is not this cut and dry.  It never is.  
From what I can tell in my own life and others from observation and listening, love seems to be mostly conditional.  I don’t believe it’s right or wrong.  No judgment.  I believe this is just a natural by-product of the entangled web of  human relationships that get passed down from generation to generation, like an oral tradition or rite of passage.  Perhaps as part of our own life’s lesson, we are being gifted so that we can better learn how to love ourselves and others.  Eventually, we see beyond what we thought was pure, unconditional parental love into the deeper wounds, co-dependent natures and insecurities and fears that really drive behavior, including how, when, what and why we love.  Even when love comes from a best intention, it may still miss the mark.  Love often greets us in the guise of pity, disrespect and control.
Throughout life, we condition ourselves to become acceptable to others, oftentimes shutting off who we really are and what we stand for.  In our attempt to fit into the norm and to not stand out too much, we present to impress.  After playing a role for so long, it’s hard to get in touch with the person behind the mask.  It’s even scarier to think about how our lives will change once we take the mask off. 
We spend so much time guarding, protecting and controlling.  What are we trying to prevent in our lives?  In this era of empowerment, shouldn’t we be trying to discover our authentic selves and voice?  The grip of past hurts and potential disappointment has us paralyzed so that we can neither give nor receive any love.  We have barricaded our hearts in, sometimes even not letting our adult selves in to soothe our inner child.  We grow older never healing, never learning how to receive love and, worst yet, never learning how to give love. 
I have had the greatest opportunities to face my truths head on.  I know that I want to live a life that is full of love.  At times, I am more concerned with what others can do for me and how I can better receive love.  I lose sight of my belief that my purpose is to serve others, and the best way to serve is to give love. 
Below are the ways that I have been trying to take my own guard down:
Observe Your Truth
First, you must find your personal truth.  It is time to see who has been residing behind the mask.  Take baby steps.  Start by just observing you and your life.  Listen to your words.  When you speak, does what you say resonate with you – is it your truth?  Follow your thoughts.  When you are doing something, is the activity you’re engaging in bringing you some sort of satisfaction – do you like it?  Watch your company.  When you hang out with co-workers, friends and family, do you enjoy spending time with them – is how you are using your time enjoyable to you?  Then, start to dig deeper.  Figure out why you do or don’t like something.  It seems so simple, but when we have been living on auto-pilot, you will find that it takes time, patience and work.  Remind yourself to tune in, and don’t beat yourself up when you tune out.  Your truths will be revealed slowly and surely.
Say Goodbye Gracefully
Always, whenever you are letting go of someone or something in your life that you have valued and cherished, there is going to be a sense of loss.  There are times when you will probably want to run back to the way things were because it’s comfortable.  Hold on and sit tight.  These moments will pass.  Be comforted by the fact that you are embarking on a soulful journey that promises fulfillment because you are living a life that is designed by you, by the divine in you.  The hints, messages, voices and gut feelings are our paths to our own enlightenment.  Take whatever time you need to say your goodbyes.  They served a wonderful purpose, and now, it’s time for you to move on.
Find Your Like
Now that you start to realize that not everything fits as neatly and nicely as it did before, it’s time to start venturing out with your more authentic self.  There are parts of yourself that need to be expressed, nourished and nurtured.  If you have gained a new interest or skill or mindset, find others who you can share them with.  You will find a safe space to really tap into these new parts in a way that won’t be judging.  Instead, you can help challenge each other to explore the boundaries of your newness so that you feel comfortable in your skin.
Gain Grounding Confidence
Over time, as you start to feel out this more authentic you, you and your life will start to gain traction on this new path.  The key is to keep following what feels right for you, despite what others think.  Let others own their judgments because that is more about them than it is about you.  You are very brave and courageous to embark on a journey that resonates with who you are and what you believe in.  Find your competence.  Know your strengths.  Be aware of your limitations.  Stand tall in your power. 
We will always be vulnerable – our wounds will always be there.  Yet, when we stand in our truth, our authentic self and our power, we have been given the greatest gift.  We have the compassion to forgive.  We have the will to act in alignment with our values.  We start to believe that we are worthy of love.  As our heart grows, so does our capability to receive and, best yet, give love.  As your heart power grows, you will start to release the expectations of how and what you want others to give to you, you won’t be so mindful of how much or how little others are giving, etc.  You will only be concerned with what you are giving to others. 
With Love,

Day 15 – Thanksgiving Thankfulness – Namaste: I just recently learned what ‘Namaste’ means – the Divine within me bows to the Divine within you. It takes my breath away – how incredibly powerful and so very humbling is this one word! As I continue along my self-discovery journey, I am tapping more and more into my spiritual nature. At this point, I am of the school of thought that believes the Divine, that incredible creative energy, lives within all things – material and immaterial, seen and unseen. You and I are born of this energy and will remain apart of it until eternity. As I see it, what all this means is that we are all one. How I treat you, my environment, my material things is all a reflection of how I treat myself. Boom! May I continue to be reminded of this powerful knowledge to walk forward in the paths of humility, respect, compassion and reverence. No matter what the Divine means to you – God, the Universe, creative energy, Highest Self, Inner Light.. And the list goes on – it seems to be everywhere when I need it, guiding me toward my purpose and reason for Being. Thank you. Xx

Day 8 – Thanksgiving Thankfulness – Pause: I spend most of my life putting one foot in front of the other, trying to take a few steps forward to further what I believe is progress – create new relationships, make more money, experience new things. Yet, every now and then, I take pause in order to reflect, reassess and recalibrate. I made a decision last June to take pause. I needed to quiet the… incessant chatter that was telling me what I should be doing; I needed to confirm whether or not I was walking down the right path. The silence revealed a hidden truth – that I was not being absolutely true to myself, to my greatest gifts, to my life’s purpose. To quote Meredith Grey in Grey’s Anatomy: “We may not like it, but it really is important to stop every once in a while, get out of your own head and see the bigger picture. Actually, finding out you’ve been looking at things all wrong can be sort of liberating. And suddenly you see new potential, new possibilities where you’d never seen them before.” In this light, I am finding a different path – one that speaks more from my heart than from my head, is focused more on quality over quantity and wants to tap more into my creative powers than my critical thinking skills. I know, without a doubt, that I have found the path that was meant for me, and I am loving the things I discover as I traverse it. Thank you. Xx

Day 6 – Thanksgiving Thankfulness – Nature: It’s not everyday that I get to experience nature in its entirety. Sure, a tree grows in Brooklyn, but I am talking about clusters of trees, herds of deer and rolling hills that take your breath away and make you believe, believer or not, that what you’re seeing truly is God’s country. These days, I have the honor to live amidst the trees, deer and hills, and every time I walk outside, I am humbled by their presence. Nature’s beauty is in its simplicity – a seed is planted, a bud sprouts, and eventually, a flower blooms. That seed knows exactly what it needs to become to fulfill its purpose. What a wonderful reminder to trust the divine that lives within me – to trust what I already know in order to live my purpose without question or doubt, just like that flower. Thank you. Xx