Archives for posts with tag: soul

shadow

As each day passes, the light becomes brighter
Bringing clarity to matters of heart and head
That once seemed impossible to figure out
Leaving me wonder how long I must tread
 
Toiling and troubling, my mind would circle round
Trying to make sense of the direction I should take
And examining the hidden messages
To learn of the lessons, for my own sake
 
With Pluto demanding  nothing but the truth
I’ve been forced to face the shadows of darkness and death
Shut away and hidden, rejected and repressed
Always preventing me from complete soul’s rest
 
Now I know, without a shadow of a doubt
That you were all part of the cosmic plan
Reflecting the parts of which I had been so ashamed
I confronted them one by one, lifting their perennial ban
 
Slowly, I resuscitate each and every part of me
Breathing life into every crack, crevice and corner
I implore them for their forgiveness and understanding
And with such simplicity, I have paid the debt I incur
 
With humility and gratitude, I receive such grace
To unlock myself from these chains
Giving myself the choice of being
I have fallen in love with freedom’s taste
 
LOVE YOUR SHADOW.
 
With Love,
theDesignLife
 
There comes a time when I reach a point
When there are no more tears to cry
And all of my emotions have run dry
 
The raging fury that once burned so brightly
Dying down to its embers, has spent all its fuel
With the space now for the heat to cool
 
Once I push past the anger, breaking through
To the other side, I now see plain and clear
The anger was masking my biggest, darkest fear
 
For when you help up the mirror, I saw my reflection
Like a loudspeaker, my fears being projected back
The shame too great, I couldn’t face up to all that I lack
 
The love for myself faltered and swayed
As it tripped over my weakened power
The triggers I no longer want to endure
 
I strip my emotions until they are naked
Standing under the moonlight
I realize that there is no more reason to fight
 
Baring my heart and soul’s truth
I can no longer run, I can no longer hide
I have said all that I need to confide
 
Wrapping myself in sweet surrender
A smile emerges, arms extend and eyes close
One long breath in, my body now unfroze
 
Sacrifice my fears, my insecurities
Hang them on the cross
For their sins, I have felt so much loss
 
Because there is nothing more to reveal
I don’t need to be protected any longer
Taking back my power, making me stronger
 
I may not be the best at this love thing
But I am not afraid to shed it all
And in my truth, I will stand tall
 
BARE YOURSELF.
 
With Love,
the DesignLife
 
They start as inclinations
A tendency, a preference
Over time, they become patterns
 
If we are busy, we fail to recognize them
But if we remain still, even if for just a moment
Hand over the mic, and they will tell you
 
They are the whispers and nudges
We mostly think of as nuisances
Or even coincidences or accidents
 
And then, we hear their voices
The authenticity that underlies
All that is tepid, trembling or timid
 
Giving way to the strong and steady
The voice we have carried within
All along those tendencies meant something
 
They all add up, and we wake up
Realizing that they were co-incidences
Not just accidents or happenstance
 
Yet we somehow want to shut it up
Our own voices. We strip it of its credibility.
Shutting up. Shutting down. Ignoring it.
 
When you don’t honor your inner stirrings
What some may name a calling – your calling
To say or do something in that moment
 
You neglect not only yourself
Because a calling is more than your own creation
It exists through the consciousness
 
A family’s blessing, a community’s wish
A state’s need or God’s offering
Is all wrapped within each of our callings
 
To honor it is to say YES
And to live our life beyond imagination
The greatness we live is the greatness we give
 
So watch what draws you, repels you, feeds you
Every glance, every hunch hold significance
Pay attention to the message that it gives
 
They call to your soul on every level
They are the lessons to learn and the ways to grow
Let them lead you to your home
 
FOLLOW THE CALLS. 
 
With Love,
theDesignLife
 
au·then·ti·cate
(v) prove or show to be true or genuine; validate.
 
Just a few moments ago, my sheltie, who I like to call ‘Katie-dog,’ was sitting in the nook of my bent legs.  As I scratched her neck and behind her ears, she looked up at me with these adorable forever-puppy eyes.  I was about to move her so that I could get up, but then I realized that this moment we were sharing  would never be again.  So I remained still, feeling the softness of her fur, absorbing the weight and form of her body on my legs and honing in on the love and gratitude I felt for her in that very moment. 
 
We don’t realize it, but these moments happen over and over again in our lives.  We just don’t take the time to experience them – the support of a chair beneath us, the balance of an upright posture, the love of an arm’s embrace.  And it feels so incredibly good to be still in that moment despite whatever we are feeling – security, sadness, discomfort, warmth.  What I find most fascinating is that by standing still in that moment, without grasping, without controlling, without straining – whatever feels most uncomfortable starts to feel tolerable and whatever feels most secure starts to become more elusive.  An objective detachment takes over, as though we are on the outside experiencing from within.  A paradox that only we can know. 
 
We use so many high-tech codes to authenticate our identities, yet, if we really want to access our most sacred, our most private place deep within ourselves, all we truly need is this moment to serve as our authentication.  Our experiences encode our truth, and it is only in the knowing of our experiences that we can start to decode our authenticity. 
 
FEEL THE MOMENT.
 
With Love,
theDesignLife
guard
(v) watch over in order to protect or control.
(n) a person who keeps watch, esp. a soldier or other person formally assigned to protect a person or to control access to a place. a device worn or fitted to prevent injury or damage.
 
We learn at an early, impressionable age why and when we are worthy and lovable: I love you when you are good; I love you because you listen to me.  In traditional archetype fashion, mothers are the nurturing, caring souls who shower us with unconditional love.  All we have to do is be ourselves in order to gain their affection.  Their love is all encompassing and always forgiving.  We walk forth into our lives with a love that serves to promise us that we always have love and that we are worthy of it.  In contrast, fathers are the judging, demanding souls who provide us with conditional love.  Their love is based on achievement and accomplishments.  We must do and have in order to win their approval.  In this love, we become equipped to handle the rest of the world we encounter as adults.  
 
Yet, life is not this cut and dry.  It never is.  
 
From what I can tell in my own life and others from observation and listening, love seems to be mostly conditional.  I don’t believe it’s right or wrong.  No judgment.  I believe this is just a natural by-product of the entangled web of  human relationships that get passed down from generation to generation, like an oral tradition or rite of passage.  Perhaps as part of our own life’s lesson, we are being gifted so that we can better learn how to love ourselves and others.  Eventually, we see beyond what we thought was pure, unconditional parental love into the deeper wounds, co-dependent natures and insecurities and fears that really drive behavior, including how, when, what and why we love.  Even when love comes from a best intention, it may still miss the mark.  Love often greets us in the guise of pity, disrespect and control.
 
Throughout life, we condition ourselves to become acceptable to others, oftentimes shutting off who we really are and what we stand for.  In our attempt to fit into the norm and to not stand out too much, we present to impress.  After playing a role for so long, it’s hard to get in touch with the person behind the mask.  It’s even scarier to think about how our lives will change once we take the mask off. 
 
We spend so much time guarding, protecting and controlling.  What are we trying to prevent in our lives?  In this era of empowerment, shouldn’t we be trying to discover our authentic selves and voice?  The grip of past hurts and potential disappointment has us paralyzed so that we can neither give nor receive any love.  We have barricaded our hearts in, sometimes even not letting our adult selves in to soothe our inner child.  We grow older never healing, never learning how to receive love and, worst yet, never learning how to give love. 
 
I have had the greatest opportunities to face my truths head on.  I know that I want to live a life that is full of love.  At times, I am more concerned with what others can do for me and how I can better receive love.  I lose sight of my belief that my purpose is to serve others, and the best way to serve is to give love. 
 
Below are the ways that I have been trying to take my own guard down:
 
Observe Your Truth
First, you must find your personal truth.  It is time to see who has been residing behind the mask.  Take baby steps.  Start by just observing you and your life.  Listen to your words.  When you speak, does what you say resonate with you – is it your truth?  Follow your thoughts.  When you are doing something, is the activity you’re engaging in bringing you some sort of satisfaction – do you like it?  Watch your company.  When you hang out with co-workers, friends and family, do you enjoy spending time with them – is how you are using your time enjoyable to you?  Then, start to dig deeper.  Figure out why you do or don’t like something.  It seems so simple, but when we have been living on auto-pilot, you will find that it takes time, patience and work.  Remind yourself to tune in, and don’t beat yourself up when you tune out.  Your truths will be revealed slowly and surely.
 
Say Goodbye Gracefully
Always, whenever you are letting go of someone or something in your life that you have valued and cherished, there is going to be a sense of loss.  There are times when you will probably want to run back to the way things were because it’s comfortable.  Hold on and sit tight.  These moments will pass.  Be comforted by the fact that you are embarking on a soulful journey that promises fulfillment because you are living a life that is designed by you, by the divine in you.  The hints, messages, voices and gut feelings are our paths to our own enlightenment.  Take whatever time you need to say your goodbyes.  They served a wonderful purpose, and now, it’s time for you to move on.
 
Find Your Like
Now that you start to realize that not everything fits as neatly and nicely as it did before, it’s time to start venturing out with your more authentic self.  There are parts of yourself that need to be expressed, nourished and nurtured.  If you have gained a new interest or skill or mindset, find others who you can share them with.  You will find a safe space to really tap into these new parts in a way that won’t be judging.  Instead, you can help challenge each other to explore the boundaries of your newness so that you feel comfortable in your skin.
 
Gain Grounding Confidence
Over time, as you start to feel out this more authentic you, you and your life will start to gain traction on this new path.  The key is to keep following what feels right for you, despite what others think.  Let others own their judgments because that is more about them than it is about you.  You are very brave and courageous to embark on a journey that resonates with who you are and what you believe in.  Find your competence.  Know your strengths.  Be aware of your limitations.  Stand tall in your power. 
 
We will always be vulnerable – our wounds will always be there.  Yet, when we stand in our truth, our authentic self and our power, we have been given the greatest gift.  We have the compassion to forgive.  We have the will to act in alignment with our values.  We start to believe that we are worthy of love.  As our heart grows, so does our capability to receive and, best yet, give love.  As your heart power grows, you will start to release the expectations of how and what you want others to give to you, you won’t be so mindful of how much or how little others are giving, etc.  You will only be concerned with what you are giving to others. 
 
RELEASE LOVE.
 
With Love,
theDesignLife
 

Day 20 – Thanksgiving Thankfulness – My Heart:  You bring me unspeakable joy, as well as unbearable pain.  Yet, even in that pain can glory and grace be found in the lesson it is teaching and the healing it is providing.  You are the only one who tells me the whole truth and nothing but the truth.  You don’t speak the language of hate.  You don’t rule by fear.  You don’t make excuses or rationalizations.  You are honorable and trustworthy, even when I don’t want to hear what you have to say, or reject what you’re telling me.  You teach me that the only way to live is to love.  My sage. My savant.  My soul.  In the words of Milan Kundera from his book “The Unbearable Lightness of Being:” “When the heart speaks, the mind finds it indecent to object.”  Thank you. Xx      

Day 15 – Thanksgiving Thankfulness – Namaste: I just recently learned what ‘Namaste’ means – the Divine within me bows to the Divine within you. It takes my breath away – how incredibly powerful and so very humbling is this one word! As I continue along my self-discovery journey, I am tapping more and more into my spiritual nature. At this point, I am of the school of thought that believes the Divine, that incredible creative energy, lives within all things – material and immaterial, seen and unseen. You and I are born of this energy and will remain apart of it until eternity. As I see it, what all this means is that we are all one. How I treat you, my environment, my material things is all a reflection of how I treat myself. Boom! May I continue to be reminded of this powerful knowledge to walk forward in the paths of humility, respect, compassion and reverence. No matter what the Divine means to you – God, the Universe, creative energy, Highest Self, Inner Light.. And the list goes on – it seems to be everywhere when I need it, guiding me toward my purpose and reason for Being. Thank you. Xx